Hardy Mertens

Ballroom Bamboozles

This vastly amusing piece was composed for the 100th anniversary of the 'Harmonie Royale de Moresnet (B)' (then conducted by Louis MARTINUS). The composition is in five separate parts: SAMBA - WALTZ - BLUES - TROT - SQUARE DANCE. The best way to describe this work is to say that the dances are 'undanceable'. The following are the composers comments: *The samba is not a real samba *The waltz is not a real waltz *The waltz sneaked into the samba *The blues have lost their bass line *The trot can only be played after dental care *The square dance is for hillbillies *This piece starts with a whip lash *If two vibraphone players are not possible, a four armed player is recommended *An alto saxophone player has to whistle *Some percussionists take care of their own applaus *Two clarinets want to escape before the end of the piece -Apart from standart percussion a bike bell, a typewriter, an anvil, two song whistles, a rattle, an alarm clock, a washing board, a sports whistle and a mouth harp are needed. THIS IS A STRICTLY NORMAL PIECE OF MUSIC ! By the way: there is absolutely no story behind all this. If the end should sound like a worn out record, it can be taken as purely coincidental. Hardy MERTENS (in a very serious mood)